Welcome to a podcast all about the animated classic Anastasia with a bit of Little House on the Prairie sprinkled throughout! This week, the town of Walnut Grove is hit hard by some major tax increases leaving everyone despondent and unwilling to participate in the centennial celebration for the United States. An optimistic immigrant from Russia rouses everyone back to patriotism with his moving speeches and everything is fine by the end. Yay taxes! Yay America!
In addition to broaching some heavy subjects surrounding current events, Amy, Julie, and Marissa gush about all the recent things we are fangirling over like Glow, Sharp Objects, Lonesome Dove, sci-fi novels, Tim Gunn, Tim Curry, and doll repainting. Julie makes us listen to a song that Amy later butchered in editing to save on time. We had a lot to catch up on.
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This week, Ma (and everyone else) is concerned that Pa’s side hustle has resulted in a sidechick with a lovely, young widow. It turns out that he’s just telling a bunch of (white) lies to get Carolyn a set of historically inaccurate dishes.
Julie is obsessed with murdering everyone this week and eating pickled foods, Marissa tells us about the FLOTUS china pattern exhibit at the Smithsonian (Reagan had some ugly ones) and gripes about historically inaccurate currency, and Amy gushes about some of her other favorite television shows Poldark and LOST. 4 8 15 16 23 42.
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"The Spider and the Fly" by Mary HowiTT
This year Pa finally has a good crop… but so did everyone else so everyone sells their crops at a loss. To make a little extra, Pa and Mr. Edwards accept a dangerous side-hustle freighting blasting oil through mountainous terrain to the railroad. Joining them on their journey is Henry Hill, a black man who has successfully completed this dangerous venture many times before; and Murphy, a racist fool.
We also go off into some deep rabbit holes as we discuss important topics like black representation on prime time network TV today – and less important topics like Dolly Parton’s Dixie Stampede in Branson, Missouri. Julie also forces us to reveal some embarrassing moments. It’s a good one.
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Pa’s righteous rage is back this week when Miss Beadle is fired for being unable to control the behaviors of some older boys in class, and the school board hires a tyrannical psychopath named Mr. Applewood in her place. Poor Laura takes the brunt of his wrath until the savior of Walnut Grove (Charles Ingalls) eloquently Matlocks (it’s a verb now) the fuming Mr. Applewood right outta town.
We discuss the crazy things teachers are expected to put up with, our frustration with some continuity issues in Little House (where’d Miss Beadle’s fancy house go?), and how inappropriate it would have been for Charles to be in Miss Beadle’s apartment alone with her.
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Cryablity for this episode
This week, we have a train to catch! Mr. Edwards adopted son Carl is a real idiot and endangers the life of his family’s farm animals, Laura, Mary and himself (twice) because he is the absolute WORST. Laura is kind of a liar, and Mary is… well… a pushover. Mr. Edwards and Charles are on a race against time to save the lives of their children and several other train passengers, and we get several action-packed scenes worthy of a low-budget Indiana Jones film.
Julie explains to us why Independence Day is her least favorite holiday. We spend the last 10 minutes talking about food. Amy reveals some of her biggest life regrets. That’s about it.
Cryability for this episode
We will not be dropping an episode today due to graduations, deaths in families, upcoming births, and moving days. We will be back to our regularly scheduled programming next Tuesday with "The Runaway Caboose."
Just in time for Mother’s Day, the Ingalls clan gives Ma a weekend to herself so she can bake pies and nearly die of an infection. If not for the brave antics of the family cow and Ma’s feverish (mis)interpretation of the scriptures, she just might have.
Amy and Julie get into it again about what is really happening in this episode, and Marissa questions faith in general. We find a few historical inaccuracies and talk in depth about our own disgusting wound stories (so you might want to skip the last 10-15 minutes if you are squeamish.)
Special thanks to our nurse researchers Courtney Schuman and Nicole Ellsworth for answering our many questions.
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Walnut Grove’s star student Mary Ingalls qualifies to represent her town at a math competition in the big, swanky city of Minneapolis, Minnesota. Laura struggles with feelings of resentment towards her sister who seems to do everything perfectly while Mary suffers under the immense burden of maintaining her “perfect” status in the eyes of her hometown.
Amy, Julie, and Marissa discuss the psychology behind coming in second place, test anxiety, and the importance of white noise machines.
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This week Laura gets struck by lightning and love for another actor that has played Lucille Ball’s son at some point. Nellie also has her sights set on the same boy and will stop at nothing to take him away from Laura.
In addition, Amy and Julie reveal that they spent much of their early teens "catfishing" people in chat rooms. Marissa makes us question life by explaining that Ben Franklin’s kite experiment might not have gone exactly as history lets us believe. Finally, we all agree that the world needs Julia Stiles to make a comeback.
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Spoiler Alert: Amy might give an important plot point away from the film Annihilation. She has no idea though because she hasn't seen it. We're sorry.
Mr. Edwards deeply desires to form a strong bond with his eldest adoptive son, John Jr. John, Jr. wishes for the same thing; however, Mr. Edwards likes hunting and John cannot BEAR to shoot another living thing. John, Jr. loves reading and writing poetry, but Mr. Edwards cannot read and is very embarrassed about it. Mr. Edwards decides to force the issue and make John accompany him on a weekend hunting trip, and things escalate really quickly.
Amy, Julie, and Marissa discuss how society should broaden its definitions on what it means to be “manly.” We all unpack a lot of complicated issues and go off into a million tangents about movies with scary predators. Julie challenges us to write our versions of “Old Dan Tucker.” Also, do bears like bread?
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